PARENTS DON’T KNOW EVERYTHING…
…SO WHAT ELSE IS NEW?
I think I’ve figured out what makes us parents so aggravating, so obnoxious. Funny, I think I knew this many years ago, decades ago, when I was a kid. Somehow, with the coming responsibilities of age, children, gray hair, somewhere, I forgot it, forgot what made me stomp my feet, squeeze my eyes shut, and turn away from every kind word and well-intentioned piece of advice from my own mom and dad
Parents. They’re such Knowitalls!! They just have to Know It ALL!
If I imagine myself in my kids’ place on the bed or in the chair, listening to me, Ms. Supermom, I squeeze my eyes shut and cringe for every kind word of advice coming out of my mouth.
Truth is, the one thing I do know is that I don’t know it all. I sit at dinner with my husband sorting through the trials of my day, asking his advice. At work, I walk through the door into my friend Melody’s adjoining classroom and heave my shoulders as I give up on ever solving some classroom problem; I throw myself down at Mrs. Blanchard’s office table and ask her what I should do with some parent or student. I call my mom for advice on stocks, I take classes to study financing the purchase of our home, and I pray to God each morning and night to help me find my way “through life” today.
But when I hear Jamie and Justin walk through the front door after their day at school, I greet them as Ms. Supermom, here to save the day. All I need is a cape. If they have any questions, I have the answers. I even have answers to questions they haven’t thought of yet. My answers pour out all day long, all night long, putting their lives into place like the blankets under their chins.
With this book, I will try to turn over a new leaf. Just mom. I’m taking off my cape. I’m admitting for once and for all, I don’t have all the answers.
I also have another big confession that I have spent the last 15 years hiding from the kids. All of my great insights, my Supermom answers, my best lessons, have come from…all the millions of mistakes I‘ve made in this short life of mine.
I guess, in my effort to be a good parent, to help my children with their lives, to lead them safely to a happy adulthood, I have spent all of my time focusing on the lessons I’ve learned, preaching away, without ever admitting and sharing where I learned those lessons. Yep. Mistakes. Big Mistakes. Little Mistakes. All kinds of mistakes. And how were Jamie and Justin to know?
Because that’s the biggest fear of all adults (and kids),…someone will find out we have made a mistake. They will see us make it, look at everyone else who sees our mistake and shake their heads in despair, point their fingers to fully expose our predicament, and wag their tongues with helpful advice and exaltations to never “do that again.” And we, in our shame, quickly sweep the mistake into the black trash bag, pull the red tie closed tightly with 3 knots, heave it over the alley fence, and point proudly to the trophy of The Lesson we learned, never really remembering where or why we learned it in the first place.
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