In the Hands of the Master

Published April, 2000

My son walked out the door early this week with note cards in hand, still rehearsing his speech on his walk to school.  He nodded goodbye, as I gave him a quick pat.

Even after twenty-five years, I can clearly recall my own cold, clammy hands on the day I gave my first high school speech.  Standing at the podium in front of my classmates, I felt terror strike every bone of my body.  I was up front, alone, in a quiet room, staring into 25 individual faces staring back at me.  They waited.

Worse yet, five students and the teacher each held a sharpened pencil and Evaluation Form.  If they couldn’t hear me, they would check a box.  There were boxes for eye contact, information, diction, and more, with a large space at the bottom for COMMENTS.  I could never have imagined that I would want to experience this fright again.

But, today as a writer, I willingly submit my work to the Evaluation Form, a formal process of critiquing.  It still strikes terror into my heart, even though my “classmates” today are friends and fellow writers.  I turn over pages I have created from blood, sweat, and tears, and I sit as they quietly read and mark.  Will they laugh at the right spots?  Or yawn?

Lately, in the silence, as we work to critique one another’s work, I am struck by the wondrous process of critiquing we Christians are involved in as we turn our lives over to God.  I begin to understand God’s process with me.

Trust in the Lord with al your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.  (Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV)

• Seeking Perfection – When we critique writing, we imply we are moving toward perfection.  But it’s important to remember that perfection is a goal.  No written piece will ever be perfect.

Likewise, for us as Christians, there is only one living perfection, Jesus.  Bringing Christ into our lives as Lord requires a special understanding of our place on earth.  While seeking to follow in His way, we must always acknowledge how vast our imperfection is and how merciful God is to love us just as we are.  A Christian’s Critique is the process of submitting to a greater loving wisdom than we alone can ever possess.

• Beginning in the Heart – The best writing begins in the heart.  When a writer knows her heart and what she desires to say, she gains a focus.  She knows where she is aiming and is able to gauge success when readers discuss her work.

Likewise, Christians must know our own hearts.  We must know we are fully committed and devoted to Christ.  Lip service defeats the critique of the Master.  He is unable to help us follow the Christian way because our heart is not set on keeping to His path. God knows our hearts.  He knows when we are fully involved in seeking His Critique.

• Living Within the “Rules” — Writers must know the absolutes of writing, then use them with subtlety and imagination.  We have a creative “free will” to say, tell, and inspire.  But if we ignore the basic rules of good communication, we will leave our readers confused and frustrated.

As Christians, we must acknowledge God’s rules as absolute guidelines for our lives.  As part of this acknowledgement, we must commit ourselves to God’s Word, reading and studying it daily.  We will never understand God’s Critique if we don’t understand the rules He applies to us in our Christian lives.

• Born of our Uniqueness – Once the rules of language and communication are understood, a good writer must be an individual.  She must speak with her own voice for her own message in her own way.  Critiquing is not intended to make her write “just like” the authors on the best seller lists.

God is a wonderful Creator, the master of diversity.  He creates no clones.  As we listen for His guidance, we must rest in the assurance that His rules and guidelines will allow us to express the love of Jesus in exciting and new ways.  As God prunes a weakness from our life, He will encourage a special talent or strength.

• Humble our Hearts – Even in the midst of the critique process, when a writer has handed her story to her friends, and when she has assured them, “Yes, tell me what you think,”—even then, a writer must have a humble heart that willingly submits to the instruction and observations of others.

God gives us His Word and His many servants, pastors, friends, and the church.  But God’s Critique requires a submissive spirit.  When we hear His instruction, when we realize He calls us to change, we must submit to His wisdom with a glad heart.

• Praying for Guidance  — Writers must listen to the critique, but not every suggestion merits a change in the writer’s work.  Critiquing becomes a delicate balance of truth and discernment.  Some suggestions are easy to understand.  Others require a writer to seek further.

As we listen for God’s critique, open and willing to submit, Christians must beware.  Many speak “for” God, but not all are “of” God.  We must discern the truth.  Submitting to God is not a passive decision.  It requires the utmost in diligence from us.  And when we are in doubt, we must actively bend our knees in prayer.

• Listening in Silence  — In the midst of prayer, both writer and people must submit their efforts and understandings to the greater wisdom of God.  We must listen.  This is perhaps the hardest task in the writer’s and Christian life.  Listening requires concentration, patience, rest, and quiet.  Have we made moments in our busy days for listening?

• Acting in Courage  — In the midst — Once wisdom makes itself known, we must act.  A writer can put her story in the drawer out of fear of failure, but she dishonors her God-given talents and the efforts of her critique friends.

Likewise, we can find many reasons for following God almost all the way.  Oftentimes God’s Critique is going to place uncomfortable demands on us.  He’s going to push and stretch us. Our future growth as Christians must be built on our daily actions, submitted to God’s loving critique.  Actions are our gifts to God, a demonstration of our faithfulness and love.

Instruct a wise man and he will be wiser still; teach a righteous man and he will add to his learning.  “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.  (Proverbs 9:9-10 NIV)

When our hearts are open, we know that critiquing is not a process of finding fault.  It is a process of formation, of growth.  As either writer or Christian, I am growing when I am a willing participant.  What a praise to know God’s love is concerned with the minute details of our life.  May we rejoice as He moves, shapes, and guides us on the Way!

Published July, 2002

God sets the lonely in families…
Psalm 68:6

His words tug at my heart.  The psalmist is my daily encourager, friend, and teacher…he reminds me of the power of possibilities in the coming day.

I close the Bible and turn off the reading lamp so as to be able to soak in the approaching dawn.  The sounds of birds outside announce the birth of a new day just over the edge of the horizon.

In the cool morning air, I close my eyes and settle into the anticipation of one of God’s many common miracles…a fresh, bright day.  My feet propped on the low table, unexpectedly in the quiet, like a drop of fresh dew, the psalmist’s words return to me.  Insistent.  One simple line from hundreds.  God sets the lonely in families.

My mind stirs.  How peaceful this morning has been…a peace born of recent family events.  Only four days ago we gathered with family and friends to celebrate the graduation of our daughter Jamie from college.  It was a magical time.  Our son Justin flew in from the east coast, and we all came together on an outdoor patio for dinner–former neighbors, a baby sitter who became a permanent family friend, uncles, grandparents, former high school pals with their new spouses, and college roommates.  My daughter hugged me.  “This was so wonderful,” she said.  “All the people who are important to me—it’s been so special to spend the night with them.”

This has been a month of families for us.  We travel next week to celebrate the graduation of our California nephew.  And we will also meet his newborn baby for the first time.  Another patio, another party, an extension into our lives of his lifelong friends and family…people important to us because they are important to him.

It’s easy to forget, during these times of joyful celebration, that families are often hard-won blessings.  There is a sister who has disavowed family ties and refuses any contact.  Insults, never retracted, have been forgiven but not forgotten.  Even with uncles and nieces on the patio, we feel the tinge of unspoken family resentments not yet healed, but set aside for the time being.

God sets the lonely in families.  Like the break of dawn, families are another of God’s common miracles.  They are so expected, so common and ever-present, that it’s easy to forget God’s part in their creation.

Unlike the sunrise, however, they are God’s special miracle of creation:  our union with the Creator is required to make the miracle.  What a blessing born of the miracle of forgiveness I have experienced this month.  Letting go of past insults, my sister-in-law and I came together on a business trip and enjoyed a seaside evening of dinner, talking, and laughing.  Family restored…by God’s healing touch.

No better picture of the healing restoration of God’s touch can I think of than another approaching family event…a wedding.  And this wedding will be no uncommon miracle.  It is a testimony to God’s mercy as He works with our imperfections.

Only a year ago, two high school teenagers rejected the patient counsel of parents and gave into passion and temptation.  They created a new life.

While this was the classic “problem pregnancy,” God’s own patient counsel worked in the hearts of the family.  Rejecting the idea that any problem was too big for their Heavenly Father, the parents committed love and acceptance to their daughter, her boyfriend, and their developing baby.

For nine months the seeds of human love were nurtured with prayer and submission to God’s Word.  Where temptation might have prompted anger, accusation, and rejection, instead obedience to the Lord created restraint, patience, and love.  And where humans cooperate with Divine Creation, God sets the lonely in families.

As the teenagers accepted human and godly counsel, their baby was born into God’s promises.  Over the many succeeding months, the new mother and father have been able to create godly love from physical love.  And next week they will give their son the gift of family, becoming husband and wife.

With my feet up and my eyes closed, His words tug at my heart.  The psalmist from centuries before is always able to reach into my modern life as a brother and share a smile or tear.  He is a good companion for the mornings, a kinship of God’s eternal family.

God’s many common miracles…the power of His creation shines bright in the sun and rolls strong in the ocean currents.  Greater still, the blessing of His creation calls to us as His helpers, His agents, His children.  God sets the lonely in families.

Published January, 2001

The NEW Millennium, 2000, gave mankind such hope.  It suggested a transformation of the world.

What a joyful day we spent on New Year’s Eve, watching the new millennium unfold like a delicate rose across the planet, one time zone after another.  Newscasters, cameras, and ceremonies around the globe all synchronized to show us the magic of midnight revelry in Spain, Germany, and Brazil.

We called our daughter in Madrid, Spain, “Happy New Year!”  With phone in hand, and our television popping fireworks, we exclaimed, “We see you!  It’s midnight in Madrid, and we see the fireworks.  It’s beautiful!”

Instead of  the long-anticipated worldwide calamity, God seemed to show us, in one long-lived day, what humanity is capable of at its best.

What I wouldn’t give for January 1, 2001, to ring in the same beauty.  But once again, we humans are focused on the wrong thing. In the year 2001, there is that untidy little digit, the “one.”  It gives an edge, a point to the rounded thousand.  What is there to celebrate, we ask, when 2001 is just another year?

Eventually, truth sinks in.  We will add digit upon digit, one year at a time, a collection of years without worldwide significance.  Uninspiring numbers 2016, 2256, 2891.  Each year will melt into the next…a thousand times before mankind again feels a compelling desire to reflect on his place in the world, of man’s effect on mankind.

We should have learned a millennium-sized lesson on January 1, 2000.  For that one hopeful day in the life of  planet earth, we focused on the beauty of a new sunrise and our fellow man with whom we share such beauty.  Sadly, though, a sunrise lasts only minutes.  Reassured that impending disasters and world destruction were no longer possible, life quickly returned to normal.

The mid-east is a land divided where people come both to worship and to kill.  In the United States of America, we are busy perfecting ways of counting ballots to grab an election.  The ozone layer continues to recede.  And we still bury number six plastic in Arizona landfills because recycling is not a priority.

The New Millennium has become just another millennium.  Worn-out and over-rated.  Is it little wonder?  We wanted to change the world without realizing the need to change the human heart.

Environment.  Recycling.  Taking a stand for the environment is easy.  Trying to get a cup of coffee to go without using one more Styrofoam cup isn’t.

World Peace.  Ban the bomb.  But looking at my own family, how many feuds and bitter words are responsible for people refusing to talk with each other?  How easy to write a letter, make a phone call, meet for coffee–extending compassion and admitting our own offenses.

We wanted to pack all of our human hope into one year, 2000.  We wanted it to bring a New Millennium.  But do we want the new millennium to grow out of old habits?  We must remember that a millennium comes to us one decade, one year, one week, one minute at a time.

The coming year is no less important than the year 2000.  Preparing for 2001, we must exhort one another anew.  Each day we are given a chance to make perfection.  The words of Jesus are no less true today than when He spoke them, “For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.  The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him.”  [Mat 12:34-35, NIV]

If we truly paid attention on January 1, 2000, we caught a glimpse of what we could make of this world.  We saw the reality of bringing good things out of the good stored up in us.  And that hopeful vision alone should turn our hearts to the tremendous possibilities ahead in a new year.

 Published October, 2002

As Kim tells her story, one is struck at once by her special qualities.  Her quiet, compassionate voice is evidence of the comfort she offers the women who come to see her.  But as time passes, her quiet determination and commitment become apparent.  They are the rock-solid bedrock of her 18-year commitment to helping and counseling pregnant women.

Kimberly Hackett-Schmidt is the Director of With Child, Ltd., a full-service pregnancy resource center.  Dedicated to helping women make informed decisions, With Child offers free of charge pregnancy testing, referrals to Medical Providers, counseling on her options, assistance with adoption of she chooses, parenting mentorship, and material assistance.

“A woman who thinks she’s pregnant is going to find us through the phone book.  We are listed under abortion alternatives,” Kim says.  Even so, “we have quite a few people who call us looking for an [abortion] provider.”  When these women contact With Child, they find counselors who offer an accepting and supportive environment where they can think through the abortion decision and what it means.

“Somebody walks in my door, I immediately send up a quick one-sentence of Lord, your words, not mine,” Kim says quietly.  “We all have different things that matter to us.Where one woman would come in, I would talk with her about the medical risks of abortion, the breast cancer link, the potential risks of sterility in the future.Another woman, I might talk about post-abortion syndrome, the emotional risks of an abortion.  I think it really depends on who the woman is, who God tells us she is.”

Kim has a heart for women considering abortion.  “It’s from where I’ve been,” she shares.  “I’ve made that decision personally to carry a child to term that was unwanted.  I was raped when I was 14 and became pregnant.  My baby was stillborn at seven and a half months.”  Kicked out of her home because she refused to have an abortion, Kim made plans for her baby to be adopted.  “I chose a family to raise my child,” she says.  “Joshua didn’t live, but I made that plan.”

As a 14-year-old pregnant teen in the 1980s, Kim suffered for her decision to carry her baby.  But she is resolute in her commitment to life.  “I never, ever would regret not having the abortion.  I had seen way too much loss in my life, having been abandoned by a mother and a day and shunned.  An abortionI would have been abandoning my child,” she explains, “I would have been following in the footsteps of those who had abandoned me, and that was something I could not take part in.”

Years later, Kim feels no bitterness over her childhood struggles.  They actually have prepared her to understand the emotional pain of women who return to her after having had abortions.  “The regret is almost universal,” she says.  “I have heard thousands and thousands of times, women speak of the regrets and the deep-seated regrets that they have from having an abortion.”

Many of these women seek Kim out to counsel their friends.  “Those women bring in their friends,” says Kim, telling her, “‘I had an abortion when I was fourteen.  My girlfriend is thinking of an abortion.  Help me.”

Under Kim’s direction, With Child, Ltd. goes the “extra mile” in offering women the assistance they need to turn away from abortion and continue their pregnancies.  Beyond the initial meeting, Kim and her staff offer women dedicated, hands-on, on-going counseling, which may include walking with her through the birth of a child and placing the baby with an adoptive family.

Serving 3,000 clients per year with a volunteer staff, the annual budge of With Child is less than $30,000 per year.  As word of mouth spreads, the number of women coming to With Child has been steadily increasing for the past year.

After 18 years of serving women, Kim is as dedicated as ever. She and the staff at With Child, Ltd. are here to make sure of that each woman in a crisis pregnancy is recognized as a human being, deserving of compassion.  “I never wanted a young woman to have to go through alone what I had gone through alone before.”  And thanks to With Child, they won’t.

Contact With Child, Ltd. today at 602-788-5434.  Kim Hackett-Schmidt is also available to speak to women’s groups and or congregations.  She also invites anyone interested in helping With Child ministries to call.  “Volunteer counselors, receptionists, childbirth and parenting educators, and handymen are always needed.”

_________________

NOTE 2013 UPDATE:   With Child is growing and under the direction of Michele Murney.  Michele took over the leadership of With Child upon the passing of Kim Schmidt in a 2009 auto crash.  Kim is missed dearly, but her organization is thriving and continues to serve families.

Published October, 2002

Tears formed as she studied the card in her hands…tears of joy.  “Receiving this card just weeks before my baby was born was such a blessing,” says Lori.  “I had been missing someone I hadn’t yet met; I couldn’t wait to see and hold her.  My daughter’s ‘words’ expressed precisely what I was feeling.”

What made this message from her daughter so special was the fact that Lori’s daughter was yet to be born.  Even so, the card, given to her by a friend, opened communication between Lori and the child she was carrying.  It created a new link between mother and child.

One of a set of four, this new line of cards was presented to the public in early September. Inspiration for the Precious Whispers cards for pregnant mothers came to Joe Huot when his wife Brenda was pregnant with their own child.  Pouring through the cards in the store, he wanted a more personal message to his wife about the baby she was carrying.  What did their baby look like right now?  What feelings might the child have?  Joe envisioned a card that would give parents an eye into the womb…and into the heart and mind of their unborn child.

Joining with family members, Precious Whispers was formed, enlisting the creative talents of Aaron and Tracy Thomason.  With attention to every detail of the card’s picture and message, the creators designed separate cards to convey the life and feelings of the baby at four different stages in the womb.

At 6 – 9 weeks, when the mother discovers she is pregnant, the baby is already responding to touch.  A photograph of a baby’s hand holding her mother’s on the outside of the card, is explained inside in the message.  Mommy, you just found out about me and you are feeling anxious.  Everything is new and unfamiliar to me, too, but your touch lets me know everything will be all right.  With love, from your Baby.

“We want to create more of a bond between the mom and the baby,” says Thomason of Precious Whispers.  “We want mothers to feel like this baby is thinking.  It loves the mom.  It has a connection there.  We just want that to go both ways.”

Winning raves from everyone who saw the cards at their release, Thomason says, “People kept commenting, ‘Wow, that’s a great idea.’ One gentleman bought a set and came back later.  He said, ‘I gave it away, and so I’d like to get another set…actually give me two.’  Then he came back after the end of the night,” Thomason laughs, “just as we were beginning to break it down.  He said, ‘You know what, I gave those two away.  Can I have some more?’”

Perfect for doctor’s offices to give to expectant moms, the cards are also wonderful notes of encouragement to keep on hand for friends who are pregnant.  Available in sets of four, cards can be purchased directly from Precious Whispers through their website at www.preciouswhispers.com.

Plans are already underway to expand the card line.  This is great news to Angela who says, “These cards enable you to ‘hear’ your baby.  I wish they had been around when I was pregnant.”

__________________________________

Note, 2013:  Cards are no longer for sale.  Website is not active.

Published November, 2002

Efforts to regulate the abortion industry have gained ground this past month as two major Arizona laws were upheld by the courts.

On September 30, the Arizona Abortion Clinic Regulations law survived challenge by pro-abortion groups in the U.S. District Court in Tucson.  Judge Raner Collins upheld the bulk of this law which requires all Arizona abortion clinics to follow basic regulatory rules covering sanitation, staff qualifications and training, medical protocol, record keeping, and emergency procedures.

Known as “LouAnne’s Law,” the law set forth regulations for abortion clinics as a response to the death of LouAnne Herron in 1998 as the result of a late-term abortion at the A-Z Women’s Center in Phoenix.  Dr. John Biskind was convicted of  manslaughter in 2001 for her death after a month-long trial which documented many practices considered substandard by medical experts.

Herron had undergone multiple ultrasounds which determined the age of her fetus to be as old as 26 weeks. Prosecutors presented evidence that Dr. Biskind coached his staff to manipulate the ultrasound probe to produce a fetal age under 24 weeks, the general Arizona legal limit for performing abortions.  When Herron’s records were turned over to the police, only one ultrasound of seven remained.  Although Dr. Biskind claimed it showed the fetal age at 23 weeks, expert witnesses declared it unreadable.

Trial evidence also revealed that Herron was attended by inexperienced medical assistants, several of whom were new to the clinic that week. Lacking supervision from either Dr. Biskind or a registered nurse, they were unable to respond to Herron’s heavy bleeding until it was too late.  Paramedics arrived within minutes of being called, but Herron was already dead.

Cathi Herrod, Director of Policy for the Center for Arizona Policy (CAP) recalls public reaction to the death of Herron,  “It shed light on the abortion industry.  It proved what pro-life leaders had long believed about the abortion clinic and about what went on in the abortion clinic.”

Legislators and pro-life forces quickly responded to the death of LouAnne Herron by drafting the Arizona Clinic Regulations Law in 1999, drawing on South Carolina law, Planned Parenthood abortion clinic protocol, and medical advice from the Physicians Resource Council.

The clinic regulations, amended by the 2000 legislature, were quickly challenged in court.  The Center for Reproductive Law and Public Policy of New York filed suit in U.S. District Court in Tucson against the state Department of Health Services.  They argued that regulations were unnecessary and were being used to put abortion clinics out of business.

Judge Collins, in the ruling issued, disagreed.  While striking several provisions, Collins determined that the bulk of the law does not “unduly burden” women and meets standards for constitutional equal protection.  Arizona abortion clinic regulations have survived this first legal challenge, but Herrod of CAP says, “I think it’s likely that this could still take several years of appeals before we finally get it enforced.”

In a separate court ruling filed October 9, The U.S. 9^th Circuit Court of Appeals upheld the Arizona parental consent law in a 2-1 decision.  The Arizona Legislature passed the law in 2000 which requires a minor to obtain consent from one parent or a judge before undergoing an abortion.

Again, those active in the pro-life movement expect the decision to be appealed.  An Arizona Right to Life spokesperson says, “We anticipate that Planned Parenthood of Southern Arizona will exhaust every legal means to stop the law from going into effect.”

While the early pro-life movement began by defending the life of the unborn, these two laws and the court decisions affirming them have focused public attention on women.  Cathi Herrod says, “As a pro-life leader, we have to be as concerned about the life and health of the woman who walks in the abortion clinic as we are about her unborn child.”

And while court challengers argue that these laws are unduly restrictive, Herrod disagrees.  “In my view, the regulations don’t go far enough to protecting that the woman is given adequate counseling from the physician himself…that she’s adequately informed about her rights.  It’s a huge first step in doing what needs to be done to help the woman, but it doesn’t go far enough.”

As pro-life groups share their successes, they are learning to craft legislation that meets constitutional requirements.  For instance, Herrod says one of the legal models on informed consent laws, “talks about the woman being able to be in the room by herself with the physician.  I mean it goes to that level of detail to make sure that the woman has access to the physician and can get the counseling that she wants.”

Whether crafting new legislation or meeting future legal challenges, Arizona Right to Life speaks for many.  “Overall, the ruling[s] send a message to the abortion industry that it can no longer hide its unsafe profit-driven practices at the expense of women’s health.”

Published May, 1999

As I left the house for the office, I marveled at the perfect Tuesday morning. The sun shone bright on the young vegetable plants in our garden, and I was glad finally to be able to leave sweaters and jackets in the closet.

Our extended family would soon be together in Colorado celebrating our niece Angie and Matt’s marriage.  This occasion has special meaning for us because they are both U. S. marines, and we know the hopes of their future marriage live in the shadow of the military conflict in Kosovo.  But on a perfect Tuesday morning, Europe seemed far away.

I spent the entire morning in meetings and was glad to break away for a quiet lunch.  As I passed her desk, Mary shattered the peace of the day.  She shared the  news of the tragic school shootings in Littleton, Colorado, which had just begun and were still unfolding.  She couldn’t hold back her tears.

Like all Americans, my family once again has been sobered by the Colorado murders.  It hits hard.  My heart sank as I saw the small bare foot of a student lying on a stretcher.  How many times had I tickled my son’s bare feet while we stretched across the living room floor playing Scrabble?  We are reminded of how very vulnerable we are.  Paraphrasing the comments of one of Tuesday’s students, “This is America.  We should be safe in America.”

I wring my hands and worry for the safety of my own family and friends.  But I know this is useless worry.  I listen to the news.  Television commentators call for stricter gun laws, more police, parental involvement, school guidelines, government regulations…, and I have the feeling I’ve heard this all before.  What can one person do when the problems of rage and violence are so vague and overwhelming?

Today I find myself thinking more and more of a small quiet woman who lived across the world from us.  She lived in a city with an average population density of 79,000 people per square mile.  Her adopted country had over 740 million people.  She spoke Serbo-Croatian.  Her neighbors spoke Hindi and Urdu.  She was a Christian surrounded by Hindus and Muslims.

This tiny woman never wanted more than to help one person.  She ended up changing the lives of millions.  If anyone could understand our desire to change our society, Mother Teresa would be just the person.

Fortunately for us, admirers of Mother Teresa have worked to preserve her life in writing.   She was a small woman, soft with a heart of love, but tough with a soul of determination.  She lived 87 years, a living witness to the power of the Christian faith.  I turn toward her today to find the answers not offered on CNN.

Firstly, those who personally knew her as a young woman are unanimous.  She was nothing special.  They remembered meeting her, a quiet, unassuming, and “unexceptional woman.”  Our first lesson for these troubled times:  we cannot wait for an important, famous person to take charge.   Each “ordinary” person contains the seeds of courage and integrity to move mountains.

Secondly, she gave her life to Jesus, literally.  We don’t need to excuse ourselves from this duty simply because we aren’t Catholic or haven’t chosen a monastic life.  We must turn every second of our day over to Jesus.  He is our truth, our Way, and our strength.  Mother Teresa had a simple, quiet way of communicating this to her sisters.  She would raise her hand and touch her thumb to each finger, reminding them of a short five word sentence:  Do it all for Jesus.  She exhorted her followers with his words, “The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’”  (Mat 25:40)

Thirdly, she never set out to change the world.  On one ordinary day, Mother Teresa saw one woman dying on the streets outside Campbell Hospital, where they had refused to help the woman because she was poor.  With only the desire to help one woman, Mother Teresa stayed with her until she died.  While this experience propelled her to build a ministry for the poor and dying, she built it one person at a time.  She often reminded the public she only did “small things” out of “great love.”   Our third lesson:  we must rid ourselves of fear and strengthen our love.

Fourthly, Mother Teresa was in constant communication with God through prayer.  Beyond their daily prayers, she and the sisters viewed their actions as moments of prayer.  They walked in prayer and served in prayer;  their strength came from the Lord.  How can we increase our time spent in prayer:  in the car, at our desk, working in the garden, or exercising at the gym?

Lastly, Mother Teresa let the power of Jesus speak through her life of action.  Every small action bathed in prayer became a witness of her life offered to God through love, doing it all for Jesus.

Is this anymore than what each of us can do?  The world needs the witness of loving Christians.  This can only come through action.  Worry and despair will not save our nation.  We must each throw ourselves fully into the fight to restore peace in America.  We must each become the Christian light:  Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.  (Mat 5:15)

We each must find that one small expression of God’s love that we alone can do, strengthened by our prayers and love of Jesus:  Serve one another in love.  (Gal 5:13)  As busy as we are, busier still we must become.  We must look around us today, right now, for the “dying woman outside Campbell Hospital,” and get involved. We can:

• spend more time with our children,
• volunteer for school activities,
• call television stations and voice our concerns about violent programming,
• write letters to regulatory agencies in charge of television programming,
• fight for an important piece of legislation,
• campaign for a politician committed to improving America,
• write letters to advertisers of violent programs,
• stop buying their products of,
• refuse to see R-rated movies,
• turn off the television,

…and do it all for Jesus.

Published March, 1999

As American citizens, trying to resolve the problems surrounding President Clinton’s behavior, we have set a new tone of forgiveness for the near future.  Forgive me has become a social mantra demanded to cover public wrongdoing.

He who sees the sin has become the sinner.  He who demands correction is guilty of hypocrisy.  Worse yet, he is labeled a villain who won’t forgive.

Who doesn’t need forgiveness?  I know I do.  Upon the death of my mother, I found the letter of apology I wrote her.  In my thirties, with the wisdom of age and motherhood behind me, I wrote her asking forgiveness for my many inconsiderate acts during my college years.  Highest on the list is the late evening/early morning, at 2:00 a.m., when I told her I didn’t need to come in earlier.  “Don’t wait up.  Either I come home, or the police will call you.”  The simple ‘logic’ of a college student crushed the heart of my mother.  My life is filled with acts that require me to ask forgiveness.

I must also give forgiveness.  As a parent who often finds my child “with his hand in the cookie jar,” I and other parents have learned from experience.  Our children will appreciate our quick understanding and “forgiveness.”  But understanding and forgiveness given quickly and without discipline usually fails to change a child’s behavior.  Cookies are much too tempting.

After decades of permissive parenting, child psychologists are returning to the common wisdom of our parents:  spare the rod, spoil the child. Counselors of the 90’s tell us, “Love the child, but not the behavior.”

‘Consequences’ is the modern buzzword; enforce natural consequences with consistency and love.  Love continues in the midst of discipline.  A child’s tears may grab at our heart, but we stay the course.

I only have to consider my own life to know the power of this truth.  My greatest learning has come from the pain of great mistakes.  I’ve lost a good friend with one word of gossip thoughtlessly passed.  I’ve spent years rebuilding trust after a single broken promise.  I’ve struggled to buy groceries because I splurged to buy a fancy car.  Life disciplines.

As parents, our ultimate goal, of course, extends even beyond keeping the cookies in the jar.  We hope to teach repentance and forgiveness.  Again, it’s easier said than done.  We’ve all probably once directed a child, “Now say you’re sorry.”  If your experience was like mine, you know the hollow victory of a child’s sullen, insincere, “Sorry.”  His words are a shell around the empty heart that isn’t sorry at all.  The child simply wants to go back out and play.

Like my children, I’ve been able to escape repentance many times, easily forgiven.  I know my husband will forgive the curt words and sour looks I use to “pay him back.”  He loves me.  But in the early morning hours, with only God to impress, I know how reprehensible my actions are.  My own repentance is not measured by my husband’s gentle and loving spirit.  I know my duty under God’s firm command.   For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. (Heb 4:12)

Cheap repentance is the result of cheap forgiveness.  With loving discipline, we parents hope the feelings of repentance will grow into our children’s hearts.  In the meantime, our check and balance for rearing our children is consistent discipline.

This discipline is the bold stripe that must be woven into our social fabric.  America’s criminal system has tried to undo the harm of cruel punishment unchecked and without balance.  Years of legal precedence and finely tuned laws seek to strike a balance between compassion and punishment.

Our nation benefits greatly from the Constitution’s system of checks and balances.  This concept brings wisdom to complicated matters.  If we were to look at forgiveness with divine wisdom, we might see the beautiful checks and balances given by the hand of God.

God, the only perfect reader of human hearts, has given all people the checks and balances of His Word, The Bible.  He knows we seek forgiveness.  We would just as soon “go out and play.”  He loves us, but he knew better than to let us have our own way without Ten Commandments.  God’s Word teaches us to love the sinner, but to hate the sin.

Forgiveness is our heart’s desire.  But it sits on the far end of a teeter totter that struggles to achieve balance.  Americans, as we become a public jury to public crimes through the power of the media, must be ever vigilant to guard our social conscience against cheap forgiveness.

Are we asking prosecutors, instead of proving a crime with evidence, to prove they are themselves forgiving people?  Do we want juries, instead of deciding guilt or innocence, to demonstrate their own understanding and forgiveness?

Social commentators during the President’s trial have capitalized on our natural desire to avoid concepts of sin and discipline and, instead, to prove our compassion.  In a secular society, we are treated to healthy doses of carefully selected scripture from a Bible that otherwise lies untouched and unread by many.  Some would have us believe we are never to judge and never to cast the tiniest stone.

The good news is that The Bible is a perfect place to turn for wisdom.  It is God’s delicate system of checks and balances.  God has much to say to us, if we only value Him enough to read and listen.  While He teaches the power of forgiveness, He gives serious counsel to parents, kings, and priests on the dangers of being consumed by sinful thought and action.  Cheap forgiveness is not God’s way.

Unchecked and unbalanced, the moral fabric of our country is in danger of being measured by the victim’s ability to forgive instead of the citizen’s ability to behave within the law.  A cloak of moral integrity is not made with one thread, forgiveness.  It is woven of many threads.  The Bible speaks this truth.  It weaves a strong fabric of truth and integrity over centuries of human history.

God intended us to live with compassion toward one another, but he offered the balancing command:  “Why do you ask me about what is good?” Jesus replied.  “There is only One who is good.  If you want to enter life, obey the commandments.”  (Mat 19:17)

Published April, 1999

Six teens sat, each with a parent, on the television stage.  Everyone’s arms were folded, and twelve frozen glares faced the camera.  For 50 minutes they had accused one another of years of pain and suffering, prodded by a talk show host and audience anxious for a shouting match.

Quiet now, they waited for the last ten minutes of the talk show to find the cure for their hates and anger.  After laundry detergent and car commercials, the host finally announced the arrival of her favorite psychologist, who appeared center stage.  Looking to the teens on her left, and then to the right, she made her pronouncement, “What we see here is a lack of unconditional love.”  Twelve heads nodded in agreement

Unconditional Love, it sounds so pretty, so full of promise.   If unconditional love is so important to the salvation of the world, if so many people extol the virtues of unconditional love, why is there such an overwhelming lack of it?  Just keep your eyes on the pointing finger, and we can trace its directional aim to the source of the problem:  that person over there.

Like the teenagers and parents on stage, I fold my arms and set out my own mental demands for the world, “Give me unconditional love.” I want unconditional love.  I want it from everyone:  from her, from him, from you, from everyone.  It will make me feel better.  I deserve it.  I’m a good gal.

Meanwhile, day by day, I am unnerved by the flow of unloving thoughts that crowd my mind.  Just a little judgment here.  And there, a little anger.  There’s that person who is critical of me.  Another who rejects me.  Several who talk about me behind my back.  A job supervisor who plots the destruction of my love one.  Classmates who snub my children.  I would love to love them unconditionally.  Just as soon as they clean up their acts and love me unconditionally.  I’ll wait.  If only I could understand what they are waiting for!

While God directs his message of love to each of us, we turn our gaze and our pointing finger at our opponents, shifting our own personal duty to love others as we would have them love us into a command for ‘them.’  How many of us cry out in despair, “Lord, why do I fail to give unconditional love?”

As I retrieve my demands to receive unconditional love from other people and focus my eyes toward those needing my own unconditional love, I run into insurmountable difficulties.   I’m willing to love them,…as soon as they get their act together, repent, reform, and deserve.  It appears that unconditional love is more blessed to receive than to give.

Unconditional love is a modern phrase being used to browbeat others.  It is a hammer covered with rose petals.  Beautiful and full of promise, but beneath, it remains a hammer.  It is a demand handed down from pedestals, following the path of pointing fingers.  Long pointing fingers, which never turn and accuse the person behind them.

Nowhere in The Bible does God command us to evaluate the love other people give to us, making sure it’s the unconditional kind of love.  Every command of love presses upon us,–upon me.  “And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.  God is love.  Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him.”[1]

God’s Word provides the key.  It is no mistake that The Bible places great emphasis on forgiveness and humility. Under the command to humble ourselves, God demands forgiveness of others, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy‑seven times,“[2] in preparation for us to step out in love.

Humility requires a loving identification with each and every person we encounter.  Humility does not fold its arms and arch its eyebrows, waiting for perfection in others, “but in humility consider others better than yourselves.”[3]  The minute we draw a line between ourselves and others, we have failed in love.  Love is God’s command.  Not his suggestion.  Love, by God’s definition, is always unconditional.

This is the mystery of the love of Jesus.  This is what draws me to Jesus more than anything else.  At the top of the cross, looking down on our hostile crowd of humanity, he chose to forgive.  He chose to love.

Jesus needs no further explanations attached to His love.  He would not need to call it “unconditional.”   His love was His “Yes” poured out upon us in forgiveness.  Nothing more.  Anything more would spoil it, covering it up with explanations and apologies.  Love.

Looking inward, I fall to my knees asking forgiveness that my Love is so small.  It rests inside my heart waiting for the moments when I feel like loving.  It waits for people who deserve love.  It hides behind my excuses for withholding love.  Meanwhile, Love chafes and bridles at the suggestion that it needs explanation, a long word “unconditional” to explain it.  Love.

“Unconditional” is the ultimate decoy.  It sets us to watching the other guy, waiting for him to fail in his love “test.”  “See, there, he put a condition on his love,” we are tempted to protest.  We fold our arms.  We glare at those who fail to love us.  We wait.  But if we pause and turn to look up to the cross, we can feel the loving gaze of Jesus upon us, asking us when we will take up our cross and share His burden.  Love.

Love,– one word, one syllable, one command.  Love.